Prose by me

The cold evening breeze blew my nicely styled hair covering my little face, I wondered if it was an indication that I had to leave

The clock struck half past seven, I knew I had to leave

My heart had yearned for this moment , I had forever anticipated his arrival , a classical presence of a happily ever after tale , I realized I didn’t have to leave

All the elements of time stopped , my breath seized, I froze in an attempt to get hold of my breath , it was a sparkling silver saloon car , parked right there with the drivers door opened

Filled with all the eagerness and cheerfulness, I walked briskly towards it , confused about how to take my steps , I appeared right there to see a smiley face staring into mine

An illuminating smile , I could never forget

His dark brown eyes caught mine

An illuminating smile which lightened his dark face ,projecting his white teeth

My emotions splashed all over my face,I expected to see a taller man but that didn’t change a thing

My breath sunk ,my heart opened and warmed up, another look at him locked my eyes up to his , I wasn’t sure it was a mere attraction as he got closer to embrace me . Those tender touches were striking , I felt a rare vibration through my entire body , a last long look into his eyes ended with the first kiss

I wasn’t sure how it happened, it was so fast , that honey kiss gathered all my emotions to project the difference between a mere attraction and a real affection I felt at the moment.

The beginning of my obsession.

During your deepest – darkest fall ,that fall is the greatest . In those dark days, there is an extreme abstruse . Entirely no trace of a single ray of hope and reliance .

Characterized by despair and the loudest cry for saving . Astonishingly, dwindling every chance of faith and straying all the light in your life away, unto the steers of desperation. Dismayingly , you clad yourself into the coils of extreme sadness, is there an expiration for these desperations ? In the snug of your seemingly unending trepidation , the heart is entirely shuttered, broken and destroyed by those fated happenings.

During these trying times, there’s nothing that can revive your sunken soul from dying along with your emotions either than your very self . Words are powerful, words will heal you , time will heal you “, those are just sing -songs you will always hear to decrease the pain exerted on your heart ,body , soul and mind .

It’s inevitable, it cannot be done away with, it’s bound to happen, you cannot stop them from happening , they will drown you so deep, beyond the depth of the ocean yet, you need to save yourself .You must swim ashore and sail those sentiments. Bring back the ray of light to brighten the darkest part . Open up those wings and flap them wide . It is not the end of the world or the struggle. With struggle comes pain before grace .

Words are easier said ,you may whisper to yourself as you read this piece, yes words are easily written so is drowning in the pool of pain , anger , despair . It is not easy to fight back and hold your grounds against the inevitable. Similarly, it is not easy to watch yourself drown when you can revive that hurting soul of yours . People will find you , try to fix you and pull you out of the extreme darkness into the light but it’s always up to you to keep standing tall amidst all the unfortunate trepidation that you cannot avoid .

When the silence gets quieter

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When the silence gets quieter, the silence gets louder . Who can make a sound out of the soundless ? Silence is peaceful only when you’re peaceful . The sound of each and every cracks pops out louder than a dynamite ,  that is how peaceful the silence can get . I sat quietly with my mind preoccupied with nothing! Racking those brains to produce something . The rage caused by those quiet sensations were the loudest distractions my silence could ignite . I wondered, was it really silence or a cluster of unspoken memories and words ? Were they tied up to my tongue or  couldn’t be projected? A stronger deliberation revealed , there could be a quieter silence ,there could be troubled silence, there could be the loudest silence accompanied by the biggest distractions to make it exceedingly troubled  ,when the silence is not quiet .

A feeling of loneliness is nothing compared to a feeling of despair
Lost in thoughts
 Emotions fought
Every sentiment cuffed races your thoughts
The sound of a silent cry brings forth the painless wound of your woes
Each sigh of relief refreshes the painless wound of a distorted heart
Quietly, you’re claded  in dry tears
Tears of inconspicuous pain ,only you can feel
There you lay, in a bed of spines no one else sees and feels
Each sigh subtracts  from your lively life
Each breath darkens the glow in your life
The thought of what eats you up gathers a layer of a thick dark cloud ,only your eyes could see.
At this point, the good and happy days come to an end
there, loneliness packs its bags and moves to reside in you
The power to evict the ill man called depression lies in your hands
A whole army of consolation and encouragement may march to you but you must assemble all the strength in you to fight it
That feeling of loneliness is nothing compared to a feeling of despair
Rebuild that urge to fight any form of depression.

It’s hard when you get crammed by emotions and you cannot take consolation in the fact that you will get better.
It’s harder when you do not know the kind of sentiment that haunts every element in you.
It’s seem harder when you’re not sure if you are being swept away by your emotions or you’re still in control of those emotions
It’s hard when you cannot tell the kind of sentiment that haunts your happiness.
It’s harder if you cannot simply draw a line between loneliness and depression. How can you tell the different between exasperation and depression ?
The thin line that dances between you and that playfully mischievous feeling is desolation.
It’s hard for you to read between those lines.
It will definitely be harder for another person to read what you could not.
That melancholic rhythm you feel playing inside you chases away every single joy little by little.
The miserable moments play the leading role, driving you to a total state of self-rejection.
Well, that is not certainly hard yet.
The series of monologues you encounter could be harder.
Yes, harder because you become self-centered.
Making it harder for anyone to embrace a downturn.
It’s seem harder if an angel does not come tumbling to save you from drowning in an ocean deep with depression.
Certainly, it’s easier for a strong, well-disciplined and highly esteemed heart to overcome most of the stormy moments, alone in an island of their thoughts.
It’s easier when their sentiments flood in folds, for a guardian angel to turn those sentimental outburst into joyous ones.
What happens to those who terribly shelled up?
A feeling of total rejection glue emotions capable of making friendly foes with suicidal thoughts.
It will be hard when you do not affront the foes moving with depression.
It’s harder when you are left in total desolation far from redemption.
Until you see the true reflection of the blues, you cannot tell the kind of sentiment that haunt a depressed person.

Thanks for joining me!

Good company in a journey makes the way seem shorter. — Izaak Walton